Sunday, November 2, 2008

Ostrich Joke . . .

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,'
and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order'

That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.' Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.

'Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.

'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?' The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

Woman to a dentist

Woman complaining to the dentist

"I rather get pregnant then having a tooth filled"

Dentist: "Decide fast so that I can adjust the chair accordingly"

90 Loves 85???

A 90 yrs old man start making luv wid his 85 yrs old wife
he start sucking her breast after 10 mins he died...
autopsy report coz of death...........

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expired milk!!!

Difference between secretary and Private Secretary:

What is the difference between secretary & private secretary?

Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR

Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

Secret of Successful Marriage

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".

Editor: " Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: " We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time".
She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!

I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?"

She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"

Husband: "That's it. We are happy ever after."

Jokes of the day!!





Sunday, October 19, 2008